We’ve all been there. The headache. The nausea. The shame. Oh, the shame. But buck up party people, if you pickled your way into this pickle, you can dry your way out. Before you reach for the ibuprofen or acetaminophen (which can wreak dangerous havoc on your stomach, especially when mixed with alcohol), try some of the tricks below to get you through the day.
We’re not going to spend too much time on this because Monday morning quarterbacking is for amateurs, and these are lessons most people learned before graduating high school, but don’t drink on an empty stomach, and keep yourself hydrated before, during, and after your big night. What’s that? Yes, we’re aware that this doesn’t help you now. No, we’re not trying to make you feel worse. Yes, we understand you didn’t realize you were going to get this drunk. No, we know it’s not your fault. Yes, we still love you. Hey, don’t cry… Let’s move on.
It’s Never Too Late To Hydrate
Even if you spent last night quenching your thirst with ice-cold rosé, water could still save what’s left of your day. Shortly after your first sip, alcohol passes from the stomach and small intestine into your bloodstream, racing around your system like an amped-up frat boy looking to stir up trouble. It careens into your brain (which is why you might feel relaxed, buzzed, or drunk,) the lungs (which is why breathalyzers work), the heart, and the liver, where it begins acting as a diuretic, causing your body to expel fluids much faster than usual. This, in combination with the fact that alcohol lessens the amount of vasopressin your body makes (an antidiuretic that slows your body from releasing water), adds up to one big bout of cottonmouth, a.k.a. rusty pipes, a.k.a. dehydration. To replenish what was lost, sip water throughout the day and replace the electrolytes that you peed away during the night by drinking coconut water. Double fist with some magnesium boosting green juice (which can help with headaches and promote liver detox) and you’ll bounce back in no time. Okay, maybe not “in no time,” but soon. Probably. I mean, we don’t know exactly what you did to yourself last night…
Vitamin B Has Got Your Back
Along with potassium, alcohol robs your body of essential nutrients and vitamins, including vitamin B, resulting in a decrease in mood and motivation, as well as brain fog. To clear things up, knock back some vitamin B dressed in a delicious oat milk latte. Packed with vitamin B, our adaptogenic mushroom lattes can focus your mind, calm your nerves and add a caffeinated pep in your step without the jitters. In the mood to chew? Head out for a Norwegian eggs benedict, which combines eggs and salmon for a vitamin B feast.
Hair of the Dog
And while you’re brunching, go ahead and order that Bloody Mary. While the science on the benefits of adding fuel to the fire is a bit spotty, the anecdotal evidence is conclusive. And when it comes to the bloody mary at least, it’s not too hard to figure out why. Tomato juice is high in lycopene, an antioxidant that has been shown to promote cognitive function. But it doesn’t stop there. Worcestershire sauce is loaded in vitamin B, salt delivers electrolytes, and lemon juice can soothe a grumpy digestive system.
F*ck the Pain Away
Can’t make it out of bed? Don’t! Having sex can release oxytocin, the so-called “love hormone,” heightening our pain tolerance and lowering inflammation. While it’s tough to find hard science on its effectiveness at decreasing hangovers, there are promising studies showing sex can fight headaches. Researchers from the University of Munster in Germany found that sex successfully treated 60% of migraine sufferers and 1/3rd of patients with cluster headaches.
So there you have it! Still hurting? Order a batch of our oat milk lattes, which deliver a hangover-busting trifecta of adaptogenic mushrooms, caffeine, and hydration all in one impressively sleek and comforting cold can.